28. No matter how old you become, you are always your parent’s child
When I went on vacation to Kauai I did not tell my parents that I was venturing off solo. I didn’t want to deal with the backlash. It would’ve caused me so much grief for what was supposed to be some time to relax and focus on myself. I realize that sounds fucked up, they have a right to know where their (adult) child is most of the time, especially when she’s out of state by herself. But sometimes I’m selfish and I don’t want to deal with any excessive explanations or push back. I don’t want to get to the point where we argue, sure they’re my parents, however I’m a high-functioning and super independent adult. I wouldn’t do anything I can’t handle.
My mom is old school, she strongly believes in gender roles and old wives tales. I was home in Hayward on Sunday and I had to politely ask her to stop lecturing me. I’ve survived life this long—I know how to take laundry back to SF. Years ago we got into a fight because I quoted her on Facebook for telling me I would eventually go blind by simply going to bed with my hair wet. She didn’t appreciate me putting her on blast like that—even though it was a joke. We fought for 2 straight days. On Sunday she told my sister and I that we needed to put on tsinelas (slippers) because we would get varicose veins if we failed to protect our feet from the "cold" floor. I refused, looked her dead in the eye and told her I would Google the cause of varicose veins right then and there. She dropped the subject and gave me a face.
The problem is: I AM A HUGE FUCKING SMART ASS, so is my sister. The older I get the more I resist the frequent lectures on obviously false information.
I’ve realized it’s all love, it’s care—even though pure logic and medical facts are thrown out the window. I’m still perfecting the balance of biting my tongue and trying to get her realize all the shit she was taught decades ago was all fabricated. Who the hell made up all that bullshit anyway and why???
In addition, I’ve learned it doesn’t matter how old you get, they still want to be needed. It could be a ride to the airport, it might be folding 2 freshly washed loads of laundry, you could be 40—but you will always be their child.
29. Take attendance on who fucks with you—fuck with them, heavy (as long as they’re worthy)
I removed my birthday off my Facebook profile years ago. It was a test. I didn’t want 100 greetings from 100 random people. I wanted 5 phone calls from my die-hards and 20 texts from anyone who managed to remember.
Don’t do this if you’re not ready for it, people are going to forget. You can be salty if you want to—or you can be thankful for the people who managed to remember without social media reminding them.
I’ve learned that the strength of friendships are not measured by the number of years shared together, it’s the ability to relate to each other at all different stages in life. When you’re a child all you need is one common factor and you can become the best of friends. When you’re a teen you share silly things like who your crush is and your frustrations regarding your parents. As adults we don’t have time to spare, if you’re on a different wavelength than another person you're going to be more hesitant on investing time. It doesn’t take much to know you never want to hang out with a specific individual ever again.
I red flag people quickly. I’m also very fortunate to run into amazing and genuinely real people all the time. Many of my strongest relationships have formed within the past 4 years, fact.
It might suck that your high school clique has lost touch over the years or that you have difficulty connecting with people you were once close to, but often when you grow up—you grow apart, it’s the nature of the beast.
Take attendance, value those present.
Also, shout out to the people you may not contact for months but when you get together its like you saw each other yesterday. You guys are the real MVPs.
