I’ll probably want to dress you, unless for some reason you’re already in perfect-fitting jeans and a slim-cut chambray button-up. I’ll act as though I’m just accompanying you on a random trip to H&M, but in-truth I’m supervising your ass while I have the opportunity. “That looks good on you.” That’s all it will take. Next thing you know your entire wardrobe is extremely on-point and I’ll be admiring your solo purchases as I try to take them off you. I’ll also steal your shit, that’s the real compliment. Just don’t get mad if it looks better on me.
I’ll subliminally throw examples of great haircuts at you until you subconsciously (or consciously) cave in. When you finally do I will reward you with so much positive reinforcement that you’ll be forced to get cut regularly. Fresh haircuts are my weakness, you will learn this, fast. I will always want to touch the back of your head. Guaranteed. I cannot resist this.
I’ve decided I’m going to be super fucking inconvenient for you. Inconvenient like picking me up from the Oakland airport at 10:45 pm on a Wednesday after not seeing me for 7 days. Inconvenient like staying at a baseball game until the 14th inning because I won’t leave until someone wins. Inconvenient like we miss dinner reservations because I need to wait 30 minutes after the sun sets to actually take a picture of the sky. You know—inconvenient shit like that.
I’ll apologize… sometimes. I don’t mean to be difficult in any way, that’s just who you’re getting.
Don’t worry though, this isn’t a one-way street. We can probably watch whatever it is you want most of the time, even if that means I’m watching rough ass psychological-heavy thrillers before drifting off to sleep (*ahem*cough* Who really thinks “SE7EN” is a great night time movie? YEAH, I THOUGHT SO. *still coughing*).
I might consider your thoughts about about my ideal hair length, key word “consider.” Suggestions accepted, execution not promised. I’ll think about it though. Really. Maybe…
I will retain whatever information you throw at my dome. Your interests don’t necessarily become my interests, but I’ll comprehend enough to throw questions back at you. Kobe’s number is 24 cause he’s “1 over Jordan.” I hate the Lakers. Case. In. Point.
So we’re good right? You get an obnoxious style consultant who decides most of the schedule and I get whatever it is you are (but we'll probably be working on that).
;-)