Today I was told that I "haven't moved on" and I "am not over my ex." These two opinions are from one person, given to me as a statement. After getting over my initial feelings of wanting to sock Bill in the face for being completely wrong (Bill, if you're reading this—I wanted to sock you in the face. Don't worry, we're still friends), I realized these are probably much more common opinions of the greater public.
"You were together so long. Not that much time has passed. How do you still talk to him? Blah blah blah blah blah."
I can see how everyone in the world gets this twisted.
Allow me to clarify: You're all wrong.
First of all, my dynamic with ex-Mr is unique because I have super-human tolerance for the mother fucker. I always have. I don't expect anyone to understand this. Just because I'm not holding grudges and manage to keep a friendship with him does not mean I have any interest left in him romantically. I don't torture myself with the memories of what we used to be. I don't reminisce on our past life. I don't fantasize about him flying to New York, begging for me back and sweeping me off my feet. I have closed that chapter of my life. As I have previously stated, I found a way to separate the man who broke my heart and the friend I've known since I was 13 years old.
I get that 99% of everyone I know doesn't understand how I managed to stay friends with him. That confuses all of you, but can we discuss this for a moment?
Would me cutting him out of my life and holding a grudge be a better indicator of moving on? Think about it. No. Whatever the fuck makes him happy is cool with me. I get it, I'm super unconventional. But this is also called maturity. Right?
Dude brought his baby into the world today. He texted me.
Did I shed tears? No.
Did I wish I was the mother instead? No.
Did I envy any part of the situation at all? No.
I genuinely and whole-heartedly congratulated him on this milestone in his life. Swear to God.
SO, RIDDLE ME THIS… How the the fuck could I have not moved on?
I understand a majority of you do not agree that he deserves my friendship. After what I've been through, who would? But let's all be crystal clear—my ability to be grown about my business does not equate to any type of inability to be over my ex.
Also, and not to confuse anyone even further, I will always love him in some capacity. I shared a decade of my life with him. This is NOT the same as saying I am not over him. Can we emphasize this? Can we write it with permanent marker somewhere? These are two separate arguments—the first of which anyone who has ever been in love can agree with, the second is just a majority of you misinterpreting my levelheadedness about a past love.
To be perfectly honest, the idea of Next-Mr is ten-folds more exciting than trying to recreate the past with Ex-Mr. In conclusion, do not tell me that I haven't moved on when the prospect of my future is much more enticing than my past.
*Drops mic again and walks off stage*