I am not one of those girls who has a date set up and gives you the entire low down. Until you coax it out of me I will withhold his name, what he does and his photo—if I can help it. There is no need for anyone to know these details, particularly at this point.

Afterwards I will not tell you how amazing or horrible it went, unless you ask again. This is unnecessary public knowledge, because most-likely, I will never hear from homeboy again. I might have thought the evening went well, but unless he asks for date no. 2, my single opinion means nothing, and you got worked up and excited over the prospect.

I currently have Thursdays set aside for OKC dates. I'm trying for a new one every week, as long as I can manage. So far I've had three "ThursDates" in a row. My OKC has been kind of dead recently (I feel as though I've scouted the entire BK reserves) so I doubt this ThursDate will happen. I could break my streak.

Every Friday I arrive at work and I am met with the immediate question:

"How was your date?"
"It was good, we'll see if he texts me."

No details given, but they want them. They all give me the thumbs up and have grins on their faces. I just smile, they have no idea how jaded I am. I downplay my recap of the date and they're still too enthusiastic for their own good.

Let's all chill, please?

I'm not going to lie… Just because I don't expect them to text doesn't mean I wish they wouldn't. I'd love to have confirmation that it was a lovely date and the dude finds me interesting and worth some effort. But I set myself up to have no expectations, because it's easier that way. Somehow I came to believe that my jaded and distant attitude with men would spare me hurt feelings—it doesn't. I'm not invulnerable to complete rejection.

I'm still disappointed at the end, albeit less so than your average lady. I'm super fucking pragmatic, so that helps—I just hope I don't turn completely apathetic someday.

Someone please prove me wrong. I kind of desperately need to be proven wrong.

…any minute now...