I’m sorry.

The truth is I pretend this blog doesn’t exist so I don’t feel too bad. I wanted to write, but it didn’t feel right jumping into some random topic after such a long hiatus. Plus, believe it or not, I would much rather write with a good cup of coffee at 9:30 am than with a glass of wine at 9:30 pm. It’s weird, it’s like I think I’m finally a morning person. Note: I said “think.”

Let’s just forget I was gone for so long…

Tomorrow I get keys to a new apartment. I always thought I wouldn’t leave this tiny Tenderloin studio until 1 of 2 possibilities happened:

I moved in with a man.
Somehow my ass got pregnant. I said “somehow” cause you know, shit happens.

Either way, neither of those things happened. I got tired of feeling like I’ve regressed into a life where I couldn’t entertain, cook, or have space to breathe. Plus, its impossible for Tako to get any kind of exercise in our current home.

So tomorrow we start a new chapter in our story, because I’m tired of waiting for someone else to fucking change it. I won’t lie, I wake up in the middle of the night with groggy sentimental thoughts of how I will no longer be able to stumble exactly 6 steps in the dark to get to a toilet. I’m worried going down an entire flight of steps at 2am due to the need to empty my bladder will do a number on my insomnia. I’m worried the space will be big and cold and I can’t wear shorts to sleep in the middle of December like I normally do.

But fuck it…

I see cheese and charcuterie boards in my near future. I see impromptu rooftop parties where we kill whatever bottles of wine I immediately have on hand. I envision plenty of quiet nights in because there is no place better to be. I see myself writing more at an actual desk.

Please hold me to that last one.