34 little things I've learned.

Better late than never... but never late is better. Sorry.

34. Always bring a jacket with you in San Francisco.
33. It’s ok if you take half shots, especially if you’re drinking with men.
32. Don’t have snacks in the house if you don’t want to snack.
31. Stainless steel gets the scent of garlic off your hands.
30. Don’t eat more edibles until you’ve waited at least 45 minutes.
29. Check for a discount code before you checkout online.
28. Being called “beautiful” beats any other compliment regarding physical appearance.
27. Dull knives are more dangerous than sharp ones.
26. Scotch is actually NOT the preferred spirit in Scotland.
25. Pickle juice is THE BEST whiskey chase, hands down.
24. Jack in the Box tacos are NOT meant to be consumed a day after purchase.
23. Only drink bottled water in third world countries.
22. Always counter your offer. Ask for more, even just a little extra.
21. Pretty girls like pretty friends. All my bitches bad, and I love all my bitches.
20. The same cannot be said for men and their friends (see line item above).
19. However, if a man is funny chances are most of his squad is too.
18. Always keep "survival food" in the freezer for hang overs.
17. Everyone has time to text, whether they do so or not is on them.
16. Taquerias painted in bright colors (particularly yellow) are usually exceptionally good.
15. TSA precheck and Global Entry is well worth the $100 investment.
14. There is a meme for almost every situation in life.
13. Goat cheese doesn’t belong on anything. It’s disgusting.
12. Always check airfare prices on Tuesdays.
11. Hot apple cider and bourbon make cold weather bearable.
10. Call your parents, whenever you can remember.
9. If plan A doesn’t work there is always B, C… or Z.
8. Keep vacations plans interchangeable in case of unpredictable weather.
7. Avoid interacting with a man after his favorite team has just lost a championship title game.
6. Find someone who only wants to touch your privates and no one else’s.
5. Always keep ripening avocados on deck.
4. Your photos will look better if you follow the “rule of thirds.”
3. Pizza should have thin crust, only.
2. YOU CAN BE FLY AS FUCCCCCCK and a man still might not be able to be faithful to you.
1. Regarding that last point, if that’s the case… it’s not your fault.