Nah. It’s not what you think. I won’t be talking about sex in this post either. I will, eventually… Maybe. Wait for it. No promises tho.
I feel like I’m experiencing some weird puberty where I’m transitioning from an adolescent adult to a legit adult. I don’t understand it. This is probably me entering my mid-30’s and recognizing all of these newly uncovered interests. They’re textbook lame but exciting at the same time. What’s happening, guys?
Plants + Flowers in your living or working space
Every week I spend about $7 on myself for flowers. Yeah, that figure is oddly specific. Eventually you learn which blooms are low-cost and thrive the longest. I can’t be spending travel money on peonies, it’s just not cost-effective. There’s something about living/green decor that makes spaces that much more aesthetic. Also, if you can keep plants alive—you a real one. It’s come to the point where I frequent a plant shop on Polk Street where I drill the proprietor for information on watering schedules and light requirements for all the plants I purchase at his shop.
Documentaries / Docuseries
Adults love this shit. Whether it's: "Parts Unknown," "Chef’s Table," "Making a Murderer," "30 for 30," "Minimalism," anything on Viceland, anything CNN is pushing out these days, anything about serial killers or drugs—when it’s done well we eat it up.
Someone is always recommending some sort of documentary to me and vice versa. They’re such entertaining means of consuming knowledge.
WHY? WHY THO? Is this really what it means to be 30-something?
TSA Precheck / Global Entry
If you’re travel savvy you’ve probably looked into TSA Precheck or the Global Entry program.
TSA Precheck is $85 for 5 years. With this clearance you’re free to use their non-existent line to go through security in U.S. airports. You don’t have to take off your shoes, jacket or belt. You can bring your liquids in. You get to avoid the whole security BS thing—period.
Global Entry is $100 for 5 years and includes all the benefits of TSA Precheck PLUS an expedited process to get through U.S. customs whenever you’re returning from an international trip. If you travel internationally this is definitely the route to go. HOWEVER if you live in the Bay Area the only processing center is at SFO and Global Entry clearance is in high demand around here. The application review process takes about a month, after you’re pre-approved for a formal interview the wait time is around 7 months. Fortunately they allow walk-in appointments (which they cannot guarantee) however I took a chance during random off-peak hours and they were able to accommodate me within an hour including wait to finish.
Fair warning: If we’re traveling together I’ll wait for you at the gate while you’re going through security and I’ll say my goodbyes as you get in your customs line if we’re coming from a foreign country. Sorry not sorry. I paid $100 so I could live like a boss for 5 years.
Pricey workout classes
Soul Cycle is $34 per class. No memberships. No savings bundle packages. Fancy pilates reformer classes are roughly $30 per class. Any other type of studio workout classes will run you at least $20 easily.
ClassPass was targeting the hell out of me via IG ads since the year started. Eventually they offered a promo membership, $32 for 5 classes/month. Calculating the savings on the discounted membership alone made me go from 6 to midnight. That’s less than $7 a workout at some bougie fitness studio, sure dude.
Now my 3 months introductory offer is over and my promo membership is switching to full-cost, however ClassPasses ploy was effective. They’re converting me to a regular member cause at this point I’m fucking hooked. I can’t go back to just working out at 24hr Fitness full-time. I can’t do it… I need the fancy studio classes. Also this is the healthiest I’ve been in 5 years, so there’s definitely that.
If you're interested in trying it out (again, I highly recommend it), do me a solid and use my link so both of us get free $30 credit.
CC w/ points
I don’t know why it took me so long from switching to paying for everything with my debit card to getting a travel rewards CC. *Shrugs* I was sleepin’.
I just recently became aware that I could earn hundreds of dollars in airfare, now I throw my CC down for every group tab and have everyone Venmo me. WHY ARE POINTS SO SEXY?
The Chase Sapphire card is usually coveted CC for this purpose. Pro tip: They cover your Global Entry application fee. 2-birds-1-stone.
I'd love it if someone explained what the fuck is going on in my life... Why are budgets, spreadsheets, efficient travel, boutique workouts and educational and informative television my new obsessions?
WHY? Why do I love it?
EXPLAIN.
For now... Here's a chart of me trying to describe the exponential growth in conventionally boring topics and subjects. The X-axis equals my age, while the Y-axis equals my level of interest (as depicted with an arbitrary points rating system). I couldn't create a graph without giving this bitch fake data numbers. As you can see I'm on a trajectory that is going up and to the right, which most data analysis tells you is good news.
If you didn't laugh at my attempt at a pointless chart—you should leave.