I’ve been going on numerous unsolicited rants lately. The last one consisted of me going off on DJ Khaled’s social media habits. The one before that involved a women’s clothing company that sells pieces with patterns so small and bright that they clash with each other, resulting in unaesthetic combinations. I apologize if you get caught up listening to my pointless monologues. I haven’t had the brightest disposition lately.

I’m stressed at work and I’m lacking Vitamin D. No, I’m not talking about nutrients that come from sun exposure.

I have vowed to stay off all modes of online dating in 2017. I respect any of you who have been successful with your attempts, however all I’ve gotten are messages from socially awkward men and futile dates with fuckboys. You can’t say I haven’t tried. I’ve tried, multiple times.

I have to rely on old fashioned means. I was probably always meant to.

My boys frequently ask me the same question over and over again: “KATE. HOW DIFFICULT IS IT FOR YOU TO GET OUT AND GET SOME?”

Difficulty is not the issue, it has never been the issue.

IT’S THE FUCKING SEARCH FOR QUALITY WITH A HIGH LEVEL OF RESPECT THAT IS HARD TO COME BY.

All my experiences since moving back to SF have been shitty—all except one, which includes love and feelz and orgasms, but that example is besides the point. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to just be good at something like sex. Like seriously… what the fuck…

Just try. TRY TO BE GOOD AT SEX.

I understand if it’s not your personal priority. It might not be high on the list. Maybe you’re physically challenged, lacking manhood, I get it… However if you have a regular-sized penis why wouldn’t you just shoot for the stars?

Be the best you can be, homie.

BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE AND TEXT THE WOMAN YOU’RE HAVING SEX WITH (DURING REGULAR BUSINESS HOURS) SO SHE KNOWS YOU RESPECT HER.

Is this really that difficult? FUCK… There it is… another random rant.