18. You need to look back to see how far you’ve come
It’s 6pm on a random Tuesday and I’m having dinner with Ex-Mr. He owes me, its been a month+ since my birthday and we haven’t been able to find any time to catch up.
Who still manages to dine with their ex-husband?
*raises hand and looks around*
I do, every once in a while.
I kinda hate how he can still look at a wine list and easily choose one without my resistance. Tempranillo—done.
He still doesn’t possess the ability to call me by my first name. I don’t make anything of it, my pet name was never that “lovey” in the first place. Old habits die hard I guess.
We discuss the fact that I moved out almost exactly 4 years ago, that 3 years ago he visited NY and was forced to announce he was expecting a child. We toast to our current status, that I’m abnormally obsessed with photos and videos of his daughter, my ability to give him objective advice when it comes to relationship hardships with his baby mama/GF (real talk, I probably side with her perspective more than his) and how far I’ve come with my career. I start telling him I probably need to try dating again soon and that I have a crush on one of my coworkers.
He has helllllaaaaa good taste in music. I hate it. I hate how he has such good fucking taste in music. He’s married tho, so… dead end. His wife introduced herself to me the other day.
He jokes: “HAHA! Why should that stop you?”
We both laugh way too hard. Between the two of us we have an even more fucked up sense of humor. Go figure. He tells me that I won’t be alone forever. I joke that I just need good sperm. He reassures me that I’ll be fine. I don’t believe anyone these days when they say that but I’ll take it.
After a few hours I tell him that we’ve almost reached his curfew and it’s time to go. We split our leftovers and call individual Ubers home.
He doesn’t bite my face when we say goodbye. That was a specific habit he couldn’t break for years, even after we split. I blame it on muscle memory. I’m glad he has a 2.5 year old to bother instead. I mean it. 200%.
We’ve come far, super fucking far.