Off-Season

I have officially cut myself off from the opposite sex. I am so unbelievably jaded at the moment that there is no use in me actively trying to date.

Unless we’re cool on some platonic level you are not getting my time or energy. I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with disappointment right now. The idea of having “no expectations” is impossible and “low expectations” are a joke. I WANT EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN REGARDING LOVE. How the fuck am I supposed to aim low?

I can’t deal with that bullshit right now.

Law always checks on me. He asks if I have any dates lined up for the week, if I got hit on over the weekend, how it went down and if I have anything of even slight potential on the horizon. He never believes me when I say I the bench is clear and the stadium is closed. There is no starting-5-lineup, we’re in the off-season right now.

He’s too smart for that, “YOU DIDN’T GET HIT ON AT ALL THIS PAST WEEKEND?”

Real talk: I get hit on… ALL. THE. TIME.

No humble bragging. No overt bragging. I’m just sharing facts. It happens frequently and I swear on my life I do not purposely seek this type of attention. I go out to have fun with my friends. I go out to dance and unwind from my long ass fucking week. 

I never make anything out of it. I rarely give out my number.

I’ve been incredibly frustrated when it comes to my interactions with men recently.

The game is so weak. The effort is non-existent. They’re looking for instant gratification. 

I told Law: They only want to take me home. No one wants to take me to dinner.

These dudes never have any real interest in me as a person. They have no genuine intentions of getting to know me. They only want to know what my vagina feels like—immediately. 

My personality is so much fucking better than my vagina and I have an A-1 vagina for sure. (Go ahead, quote me on this.)

You’re probably saying I’m meeting men in all the wrong places, that I need to do wholesome activities or put myself in situations around men of more substance. Maybe… However most men fall into 2 buckets: 1. Already in a relationship or 2. Perfectly fine being single.

Yes, there is a third bucket, a minority of single men looking for wifey. I can’t find these fuckers. I can’t find one who likes me as much as I like them.

I FUCKING GIVE UP. I’M GOING TO GO THROUGH A SPERM CATALOG TOMORROW AND PICK OUT ONE WITH A GREAT DESCRIPTION.

*drops mic* *end scene* *boy bye*