4. Solitude can be sweet

I’ll be the first to admit that if the condition “LONELY AF” could be cured by a prescription pill I would run to the doctors office. I can deal with a lot of bullshit but loneliness is my greatest challenge. These days I have a pretty good grasp on it and have various coping mechanisms in place, however it remains a constant struggle of mine. I can never tell when a wave of the feelz wants to hit me.

Last night I was asked the back-handed compliment/question:

“WHY ARE YOU SINGLE???”

Mees always tells me I’m single by choice. I think that’s a fair assessment, honestly. If I wanted a boyfriend I could probably obtain one, fairly easily. If the goal was to just have a man on my arm I could check that off the list. BUT I’m holding out for love, fireworks and the right timing. It takes an entire confluence of the proper circumstances to start a healthy relationship.

I could have Mr. Right Now, I’ll wait for Mr. Right.

Not to mention, my curve game is R I D I C U L O U S. I’m still picky-AF despite giving up on the search for a unicorn.

After growing into adulthood with a man by my side for 11 years I had to learn how to adjust to being completely by myself. It was a rough transition, hell, I’m still trying to figure out. Regardless of battling loneliness I am not quick to give my time away. Being single has given me a new appreciation for alone time.

I like my own company. I love aimlessly wandering through the city with a good mix blasting on my headphones without an exact destination in mind. I enjoy getting breakfast at new places and catching up on my daily journal without having to make small talk with anyone. I’ve found a strong sense of independence by getting on planes solo, time and time again.

Solitude can be sweet after all.

Also, this meme is me. Joking. ;-)