3. Understand the 5 Love Languages
Apparently there are 5 ways humans express and receive love.
I was having lunch in NY when someone suggested I look up the 5 Love Languages. I had never heard of them before, but they make a ton of sense. You take a quiz and it ranks the 5 types from high to low based on your individual preferences.
We don’t interpret love in the same ways. What you value could be completely different from your partner or your loved ones. By understanding the various types and how those around you perceive love you can improve your relationships.
I’ll share them in the order ranked highest to lowest from my own results. FYI the highest you can score on any particular language is 12.
Quality Time
Personal score: 11
My IG profile reads: “Better late than never, but never late is better.” They’re Drake lyrics (DUH), but it’s the line that follows after that is true key to my heart: “They tell me time is money, well we’ll spend it together.”
Time is expensive. Undivided attention is even more valuable. I am never on my phone on dates or while hanging out with my friends. It’s rude. Flakiness and de-prioritizing time scheduled with me is offensive, personally.
Words of Affirmation
Personal score: 10
Flattery and compliments can get you everywhere.
Gas. Me. Up.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Leo. I don’t know if it’s because I value words as a form of expression so highly—but I thrive on kind words. I notice when they are not being given just as much as when they are. The men that fail to deliver even a simple “You look nice” on our first date don’t do so well with me.
Physical Touch
Personal score: 5
You’d think that since I value the quality of sex in a relationship so much that physical touch would rate higher, but I’m not very “touchy” to begin with. PDA’s freak me out. Although I will hold your hand and kiss you on the cheek, publicly.
My declaration of love by physical touch is simple, I rub the back of your head, fresh haircut or not.
Acts of Service
Personal score: 2
I am wildly independent. Early on my father taught me not to rely too much on outside help. Ex-Mr was the same way. I am used to accomplishing tasks myself to ensure they get done properly. I’m not accustomed to having things done for me even as thoughtful gestures.
Although once someone took the time to get quarters for me (for laundry) because I kept mentioning how forgetful I was to drop by the bank. I was pleasantly surprised by the gesture. Maybe I’m just not used to thoughtful acts, which is a shame.
I still wanna have someone fold clothes for me, a la J. Cole.
Receiving Gifts
Personal score: 2
I have always said presence is greater than presents, thus the 11 score for qt.
I have never been big on actual gifts, experiences are more my style. I also don’t like clutter and I’m very particular about aesthetics when it comes to the objects I keep/use. I understand it’s the thought that counts, so keep the gifts coming regardless.