8. Quality D is major key

I had really shitty sex the other night.

Really. Shitty. Sex.

It’s alright, you can laugh.

To be fair, I needed to get it over with. I’ve been anxious as fuck at the thought of sleeping with someone new. Prior to this the last time I had sex it was still connected to love. Just like my second virginity I needed something to distance me from emotional sex. So I took the random opportunity and ran with it, unfortunately the D was straight garbage. 2016 has been full of L’s, it’s not a surprise that we’re just adding to the pile.

Sex with someone new is always weird to me. I try not to be sober the first time around. I’m awkward, I don’t necessarily like being touched or cuddled by strange men, it’s too intimate. That sounds weird right?

Hey, our privates can touch—but you can’t touch me.

IDK, man. My comfort grows over time. I get there, eventually.

I recently read that a woman’s sexual peak is in her early 30’s. After discovering this I called Law and said: YO, I’M WASTING AWAY THE BEST SEXUAL YEARS OF MY LIFE!

I honestly don’t think this holds true for me. I’ve had a high sex drive since I hit puberty. I don’t care what the studies show, I’ll probably still be trying to get it in wayyyyy into my senior years. Probably.

However I did kinda freak out on the phone with Law, we came to the realization that until I know what the D is like—I can’t like you, and I have to discover this early enough in the process. Quality D has always been high on the priorities list, this fact just gets reiterated whenever I experience bad sex.

I can understand if our rhythms don’t match the first time around. I can grade you on your effort. HOWEVER the moment you are lazy, selfish or BOTH that is unforgivable. The worst D out there is the type that’s unaware.

Pro Tip: Figure out what she likes. Be a giver. Check on her. DUH. OBVIOUSLY