17. Nothing lasts forever

The bad news is: nothing lasts forever.
The good news is: nothing lasts forever.

I’m an odd mixture of viewpoints. I’m objective, a realist with low expectations and yet a small part of me is a deranged romantic. I like to hold on to the last attribute as much as I can, that side doesn’t get to express its excitement as much as I would like. I also harbor a stupid amount of anxiety.

Depending on whatever it is you’re experiencing in life this perspective is a 50/50 toss up.

It’s a fucking paradox.

Sometimes I think about the span of my lifetime and realize: this ain’t shit. Most of us have only been making adult decisions for the last third of our lives. All the struggles and highlights I’ve written about for the past 4 years—that’s just a small blip in the overall timeline.

I contemplate where I will be at double my age and what kind of heartbreak and joy I will see.

Can you imagine tho? Life at 66. Twice the life, except this time IT’S ALL ADULTHOOD and 100% unpredictable.

Told you—I’ve probably been anxious since birth.

The day-to-day struggles I endure on the regular, the post-divorce loneliness I frequently battle are all pretty much insignificant in the long game. The tides will turn and happier times will eventually ensue, I have no doubts. However this period is likely to have a time-limit as well, it’s inevitable.

The fact is human life is precious and fleeting and it’s a fucking roller coaster…

So I will ride out these shitty times (because I’ve been riding a shitty wave for a minute), because what goes up must come down—and vice versa.