Back in February I had a (super large) emotional meltdown after tanking an interview with an entire team panel at Hotwire. It was a follow-up and I was met with a barrage of questions of which I lacked technical knowledge on how to answer. I fumbled my way through the entire thing. I felt as though the team didn’t necessarily care about my skill set or design abilities, they wanted to find each hole in my knowledge base—and they did. They picked me apart and stripped me to my lowest vulnerable state. I was stuck in a room with numerous jackasses flexing their facts and expertise on me. Towards the end I felt personally attacked and lost all self-confidence. I really wanted the job too, it was a 6 month contract, well-paying and would've been a well-known brand to have in my portfolio.
I was barely out of the building lobby before hot tears ran down my face, embarrassed about my performance for what initially sounded like a clutch opportunity. I was clouded with self-doubt. I ended up calling three separate people, bawling out of control. Fortunately Rob was free and we drank my feelings. We drank all my fucking feelings.
The next day I woke up completely defeated, but not dead. I texted Melissa to meet me at a coffee shop so we could continue to dive into our job search. I ended up scouring multiple creative job search engines and researched just about every medium-large ad agency in San Francisco. I probably applied to 20+ positions that day (one being the job I have now).
I continued to have a shitty weekend, because I couldn’t shake the feelings of inadequacy when it came to my profession. I thought about everything from taking online courses to supplement my skills to applying for lower positions. A dark cloud followed me all the way until Monday morning when I checked my email. In my inbox I found a request for an interview with my current company. The next day I met with the creative director of the Visa account (my boss) and he hired me on the spot after a 10 minute conversation about my experience and portfolio.
“We’d love to have you on the project if you’re available.”
“Uhh. Is that it? Am I hired? Do I have the job?
“Yeah. It’s yours if you want it.”
“YES. I’D LOVE TO. THANKS!”
You know what I do at my company?
The same exact fucking thing I would’ve done at Hotwire. No joke.
Lesson learned. In the end I came out with the better opportunity, with a better company culture fit and better pay—all better everything. Now every time something doesn’t seem to go my way I call it “Hotwire.”
All the fuckboys who sleep on a real chance with me? #Hotwire
All the "seemingly good" opportunities that turn to shit? #Hotwire
Everything I think I want, but don't get? #Hotwire
Hotwire. Hotwire. Hotwire.
I know for a fact, there's something out there better than Hotwire.