I’m constantly on the receiving end of the statement: “You’re so popular.”

Personally I think it’s silly to describe a 31 year old woman as popular. What is this, high school? Who’s even judging what that means? Ok, I have a lot of friends. I could go from Hawaii to London and hit up various people up along the way. I’m a people-person and yeah, I guess I’m well-liked (why are you here reading this right now?).

I have 5,000 friends, give or take, of varying degrees, from coast to coast.

HOWEVER…

I still go to sleep alone… wake up alone…

Feel alone.

I can’t fix it, no matter what I do, so I just try to forget.

I try to forget how nice it is to kiss someone good night. I try to take advantage of sleeping in the middle of the bed, sprawling out, only to wake up on the left side. I still remember what it’s like finding someone on the right, obnoxiously screaming “GOOD MORNING” into his ear as soon as I woke up.

I can text a dozen folks on a good day, but the bad ones? I go into hiding. I’m not trying to burden you with my broken-record self. It’s always the same thing… “Tell me things will get better. Tell me I won’t be alone forever. Please convince me, cause my words don’t mean anything to me anymore.”

I realize the observation that I am “popular” is a compliment, but just so you're not completely fooled—this social butterfly is a lonely one.