Once I went on a date with a man who prefaced himself with the statement: “I’m really not good at planning things.” He left me with a terrible first impression. He had no idea who he was dealing with, and really—what woman wants to hear that? I appreciate the honesty, but it’s not going to help your cause, dude. I stamped a giant red flag on him after he disclosed that information, but we still went on a date (don’t ever say I don’t give men a chance, I do).
We ended up splitting the planning duties, it was easy enough: “Ok you choose the restaurant, I’ll choose the bar, let’s say East Village, deal?” He ended up picking a restaurant I’ve been meaning to visit, of course it was popular and on everyone’s hype list. On the night of our date, he texted: “They say its a 2.5 hour wait.” DUH, IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT IN NYC AND THEY DON’T TAKE RESERVATIONS. I predicted this, but I wanted to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. He was accurate with his self-assessment because he didn’t have a backup option. Homeboy ended up Yelping a mediocre second choice last minute.
Fail. SUPER FAIL.
After my failed marriage I realized I was tired. Tired of planning every thing. Every date. Every weekend. Every adventure. Literally EVERY THING. I was the natural so I took it on. I lacked surprises and feeling like I was taken care of. I never want to be in that position again.
I love being independent and in-control, but I will forgo it at the drop of a dime in the case of romantic interests. YOU TAKE CHARGE. I don’t want to have to think…
:: Segue here ::
So I’ll happily cosign this. Yes, I will admit to having read the entire 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. I found it bearable until the 3rd book of which was so fantastically stupid it made me want to yack. I’m a strong-headed and self-sufficient lady but I’d be fucking lying if I didn’t swoon over a Don Draper, Christian Grey or Damon Salvatore type (yes, I was a fan of “The Vampire Diaries” for the sex scenes alone—GUILTY AF). All assholes, notice the theme? GAH.
The article basically states that women like feeling in-charge and making executive decisions, but love relinquishing control (to the appropriate person).
YUP. COSIGN. COSIGN. COSIGN.
“We want to make our own money, but still be asked out on the date and have him pay. We want to be strong and independent, but still have him asking how we’re feeling. ‘We want the alpha male with arousing qualities…’”
I’m full of dualities and checks and balances, so I understand this completely, however it’s fine lines if you’re not careful.
What's really new though? ;-) Always with the fine lines...