The D

I'm currently stuck in a desert right now, this is a prime example of a dry spell. Today I thought to myself for a second and I realized… "I could've gotten D two weekends in a row, from two completely separate dudes."

Did I? Nope. 

So why did I refuse?

In Weekend Scenario 1 my date obviously tried to go home with me. Mind you, it was our first date. Had I been super attracted to him I might have considered it for a minute. But I realized pretty quickly into the evening that I wasn't into him. He still tried and I rejected him when I wouldn't let him "split a cab with me and drop me off first." I kind of laughed in his face at his logic, cause geographically it made zero sense. I see your game, you lose homeboy. 

In Weekend Scenario 2 I got a random text from "Mr. Make-loose-plans-with-you-and-then-flake." I looked at my phone like I was seeing things. WTF? Really? This one has managed to hit me up almost quarterly with his "its been a while/what are you up to" texts. I ignored his last one so I was extra surprised when I saw his name show up on my phone. After the first "feeler" text (months ago) I asked for two perspectives. I don't know why I asked for a female opinion cause it would obviously be wrong: "he must really like you." *BUZZER SOUND* Wrong answer. Then I asked my dude roomie and he gave me three possibilities: 1. He does like you. 2. He sent out multiple texts to multiple girls that night. 3. He doesn't like to close down doors, no matter what. Ding. Ding. Ding. Correct. I'll accept the last two answers. Anyways, so I contemplated to myself, "Do I really want D? All I have to do is respond…" Turns out—I didn't want it that bad.

I'm not always this strong-willed when it comes to the prospect of D. The experience can either be disappointing, which makes you feel like you need to have good "redeeming" sex OR it can be so good you go batshit insane. A wonderful intelligent women can get weak in the knees (literally) for some good D. We make stupid decisions, irrational choices and throw our friends out the window for good D. Trust me, in Scenario 2—this would've been the outcome (dude provides). However, these men and their offers just weren't worth it. I value myself too much. You gotta do work and they attempted with minimal effort. 

Yes, I am totally rationalizing my dry spell, but personally I feel empowered as hell. Its not about the ability to "get it"—its the power to know I can, and still refuse.