On Wednesday morning I landed at SFO and I felt at ease. I’m usually programed with an internal clock that ticks down my return to NY. I try to fit in visits with something like 10 different friends. I run around the entire Bay Area like a chicken with its head cut off. I was always exhausted and aware of the amount of time I had.
The clock is now gone.
It’s all pretty surreal. My watch is still set to East Coast time, it trips me out that I have no return ticket back to NY—I live here, again.
I spent the past few days buckling down and unpacking. I ended up bringing back 10 bags and boxes back to Cali, because I’m ridiculous. Naturally I’ve only unpacked what I needed, half of my things are ready to go to the next place I call home (please Lord, let that be ASAP).
My life is running at the slowest pace its been in the past 2 years. The only time I’ve left the house since Christmas was to go to In-n-Out and Safeway, and those are two separate occasions. I haven’t seen any of my friends yet. I turned down an invitation to go out last night so I could continue unpacking and watch “The Sandlot” in my room. “Who the fuck am I right now?” I thought. Then I remembered I am still me, just with all the time in the world.
I treated my life in New York as if it were a marathon. There was a definite clock ticking down there as well. I knew my residency was going to be short so I had bucket lists on bucket lists and different groups of people willing to cross of my “musts” with me. Unless the weather incredibly sucked or I was somehow sick, I was out running the streets of NY. I did it properly, I have no regrets.
I’m a little lost as to how to approach all this new freedom. I figure I can catch up on every TV series everyone is gushing about these days. I CAN FINALLY FINISH BREAKING BAD. I plan on spending more time in the gym. I can actually sit down and enjoy a movie. Maybe hobbies? IDK. Something... I'm actually pretty excited that life is slower here. Real talk, a 1:30 am last call sounds amazing. NY life made me fucking tired, especially those last few months.
So now I can rest—for the meantime. We all know I can’t sit still for very long. ;-)