I don’t even know where to begin with this one…

I’ve been trying to write this post in my head for the past few weeks and struggling to come up with the words during my last few days. My head and heart are both messy places right now. The good thing is I have no second thoughts. This is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing, no doubts. However, it doesn’t make it any easier.

The major feelings started last Friday. I cried after hugging Ryan. I didn’t expect that but I figured it out lightning quick. Ryan is a simple part of my everyday routine. While at work he hits me up on chat and asks me how my projects are and life in general, then around 3pm both of us take turns asking if the other wants to go grab coffee. So there I was, in the back of a bar with tears streaming down my face because I said goodbye to my everyday New York life personified.

Sometimes I never know if I’m expressing myself properly. Everyone asks: “Don’t you love New York?” HYFR is my usual response. But here’s the thing… I know for a fact that there are times when love isn’t enough. As a divorcé I could write a book on this, I’m not gonna go into that, but I’m just saying… Love is a hell of a drug, but I can walk away… I’ve done it before.

I can’t exactly explain why I know it’s time. I can throw out fluffy excuses: dating fucking sucks here (it’s the honest truth), I can’t deal with winter or that I’m over both having too many roomies and my stressful job at the same time. All I know is that my intuition is usually on point and my instincts lead me to where I need to be. They’re saying I need to start a new chapter.

So I’m listening…

Thank you, New York, but it's time for something new—yet familiar.