Honest

I don’t want to listen to anything but Cashmere Cat mixes. This one in particular is my favorite, he goes into a soft variation of Poundcake at 17:40 and I die every time. Someday I’ll make a baby to some Cashmere Cat, or at least practice.

I am in a terrible funk that I cannot shake. I thought it was just a bit of post-vacation withdrawals, but its deeper than that. I’m desperately waiting for it to pass, but every morning I still wake up dragging myself out of bed without any motivation. I have no sense of time, sadness feels like its sticking around forever. Geez. So dramatic… Excuse me, it will go away… Eventually.

I’m sad as fuck that I am leaving NY, however I know for a fact that I must go—as much as New York and its people have been generously kind to me. I want to start 2015 back in the Bay, although I have absolutely no set plans in place. Ohh well. If I did it in NY—I can do it at home. Right? Shit. I hope so. I want a solid routine in SF as soon as humanly possible.

After about two weeks of living without bank cards (because of an irresponsible night in Miami, including a lost wallet), I finally have the means to pay for my own belongings / meals / life. I’d like to thank other people’s cash flow, Venmo and SquareCash for allowing me to live without even stepping foot inside a Bank of America.

My lost wallet is forcing me to FINALLY change my last name. Legally I am still “My last name-his last name.” As soon as I get back to Cali my first order of business is to change half a dozen legal documents back to my maiden name. I’ve been avoiding this because: 1. I like the photo on my CADL along with the SF address still attached to it. 2. I do not want to switch out my passport with all the awesome international stamps. 3. IT’S A FUCKING BITCH TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS. I’m taking my lost wallet as a sign, “Girl, take care of your shit. It’s time.”

It bothers me so much that I have no idea when I will have sex again. Honest confession. As a non-disgusting-looking female my male friends tell me all the time that I can determine this timeline, “You could have sex right now if you wanted to.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Just because I have the ability to lure an able-bodied man into my bedroom does not mean I will do so. 

GAH.