[Written: Thurs. Oct 23. Newark International Airport]
I'm in an airport again, by myself.
I think 2014 might win for most flights taken, 2013 could still be the front runner. I don't know anymore.
My flight is delayed. Newark airport is minimal and boring. CNN is the only thing keeping me entertained, Ebola is the news topic du jour, particularly because now there is a case in NYC. I forced myself to close my SoundCloud app because I shouldn't be streaming music and I'm continually getting data usage texts. My sister polices me when it comes to this, sometimes I have to be ghetto and turn off my data for the last few days until the billing cycle resets, but I digress...
This is the last time I'm making this round trip journey. It's a bittersweet realization for me.
I have grown tired of these long weekend trips. It's the same 'ol deal: a stressful work week so I can cut out early on a Thurs, non-stop social activity at home only to abruptly leave again with my heart a little cracked. I always patch up quickly, but it's a hurtful cycle.
I'm on the plane now. I prefer checking where the plane is in relation to the map instead of checking the remaining duration of the flight on my watch. We're only nearly halfway, over some middle-America-fly-over state. Once I used this description in conversation at work and I was deemed an "elitist Californian." "Guilty as fuck," I responded. No shame. People let me get away with my over-opinionated comments because I look like I'm 23 years old and I'm abnormally sweet, I always use this to my advantage, but I'm digressing again...
The map makes the distance real. I forget about the miles in between coast to coast. Everyone is usually just a call, text or FaceTime session away. A five hour+ plane ride cannot be shortened, I might as well cross the Atlantic Ocean and end up in Europe. California is so fucking far away.
I'm currently reading a book comprised of personal essays based on loving and leaving New York City. I'm searching for solace. I'm hunting for commonalities in another writer's words. I'm eager to discover my sentiments dictated through someone else's experience.
I haven't come across any essays that speak to me yet, I don't know if I will. I just need to cosign on one, in this book I have 27 chances. I'm inspired to write my own. I'm still trying to figure shit out, to put my thoughts into complete sentences but I’m still at a loss for the proper words.
Wait for it though… I’ll have a complete piece written.
I have two months left.