365

I have a timeline of the past 1.5 years of my life memorized down pat. 2012 was a fucking pain, literally. I bled constantly. You could assume I might be emotionally scarred from keeping track of these traumatic dates and occurrences, truth is I'm full of scar tissue—but I'm not emotional about it.

Rewind:
Last Labor Day Weekend ex-Mr and I dedicated the weekend to a "staycation" never-ending date. The weekend started off fairly rocky, we had issues trying to keep ourselves on the same page, and we ended up getting interrupted in the middle of the weekend and having guests, but on Labor Day itself we managed to enjoy a nice long hike in Muir Woods finished off by an amazing home-cooked meal back at our apartment. I remember it clearly because it was our last memorable date as husband and wife. Our high was short-lived, it was a momentary glimpse of our old dynamic. He was unable to sustain such a connection with me, and I was no longer providing him him with whatever he needed (I have since realized this disconnect was not my fault). We fell apart again for the last time a few days later. I was left with no choice but to move out in the beginning of September, with my pride shattered into a million fucking pieces and with the failure of our marriage following me all the way back to my parents house. I left the man and city I loved exactly one year ago. 

Fast Forward:
I spent this past Friday moving into a new apartment in Brooklyn. One of my original room mates (of the seven guys) purchased a brand-spankin' new extra-extra-large condo. I've already moved twice within my time period here, but I feel as though this is finally home. My first two apartments were short-lived residences and it was always apparent to me. This move is another one of those "gifts" that have since fallen into my lap since relocating. I told you, New York City loves me. However I'm smart enough to know she'll throw me a curveball again in a minute though, so I'll stay humble about that. 

I was the most broken and ill-functioning version of myself a year ago. It was a struggle to go to bed at night and wake up to my reality. I couldn't imagine life without the man who promised me my future. So without him I took it one step and day at a time. 365 days later here I am, happily blogging in BK.