If you didn't know—I can reference Kendrick for days. The same goes for Drake/J.Cole/Wale/Frank O., etc. etc. etc. Just in case you didn't catch my GKMC reference.
So I've been in New York for 3+ weeks, only. It feels like forever and at the same time it feels like nothing. I already know this place is different, and it moves fast-AF. To remind you all, I've been in a committed monogamous relationship for 11+ years. I am completely clueless as to what the hell the dating world is like, let alone what dating in NYC is like. CLUELESS.
But here I am... thrown into the fire.
Within 3 weeks I have received/given my number to various dudes. I have no idea WTF I am doing and I am pretty sure it is becoming apparent. I have no game, literally, zero. I have no idea how to play the game. Its pretty pathetic that I am claiming it right here and now, but whatever… thats why I write. I've already entertained a few folks back home from my failures/success in this sector of my life. I'm glad they find it amusing cause I feel like a fking experiment over here.
Back home I was surrounded by married couples, families and super-committed duos. I might be able to count my single friends with one hand, no joke. I rolled w/ people of the same status in life, not that I tried to, we just all happened to be at the same exact point in our lives. So this is when they can all live vicariously through me, or just get a kick out of WTF some guy said to me last night.
To give you some backstory… I was a good fucking wife, there is no question. I just got screwed sometime within the past year and had to end my marriage. Internally I am still the good girl that made up that good wife. I can't turn that off, at least not right now. I don't know if I can ever turn that off. Who knows, maybe I never have to. Although over here, I'm pretty sure I will have to learn how to stop being that good girl pretty fast. Make no mistake though, don't think my heart is on my sleeve cause I claim my good girl mentality. After the heartbreak I endured last year, my heart is made of fucking titanium at this point. I just have too much pride to look stupid, thats all.
I am at a serious disadvantage—I am navigating unknown territory at rookie-level status—in a city full of sharks. NY is a baddd city, I can already tell. But in the end, I really wouldn't be anywhere else in the world. Haha, I learn fast anyways...
"Alright alright alright... You gon' learn today."