I am still very much HIGH KEY obsessed with romantic love.

I realize I sound bitter, cynical and emotionally unavailable most of the time. Those are all hard facts. I’ve accepted that sometimes I am just a walking contradiction, subject to whatever I feel on any certain given day or time.

I reserve that right. I can be a cynical hopeless romantic if I want to be.

Just because I gave up on dating doesn’t mean I gave up on the idea of “THE ONE.” Even though I purchased an anonymous man’s sperm doesn’t mean I have given up on men altogether.

I’m just a realist with a goal to accomplish.

Unfortunately for me the choice between a search for a partner and the reproductive ability to conceive a biological child went head to head and there was only one obvious choice. I am exceptionally good at prioritizing tasks whether that comes to my professional or personal life.

I can probably fall in love in any decade during this lifetime. My heart doesn’t have an expiration date, however my ovaries, eggs and uterus do.

I know I’ve expressed sadness about not having a partner for my potential pregnancy and anxiety about not having a father for my (future *cross fingers*) son. However I’ve just chalked it up to the fact that no one in my life has worked out because they were not meant to.

I still believe that corny ass quote:

“Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else.”

So although I’ve given up on baby daddy that doesn’t mean I’ve given up completely.

The man for me is out there. I just don’t think I’ve met him yet.