My brain has beaten my heart into submission. Logical thoughts are the only things that run through my head. I no longer have the ability to daydream unless I am incredibly high. My only real opportunity for this is a 5 minute span of time, right before I fall asleep, where I get to imagine that romance exists in my life.

It’s always relatively simple things, like someone trustworthy enough to hold Tako outside a coffeeshop on a Sunday while I order coffee and breakfast sandwiches inside (IRL I don’t tie Tako anywhere for fear someone will steal him—it’s a completely rational fear). That’s basically the extent of it. The ideas are always ordinary.

As a result of my inability to imagine a romantic future for myself I still watch a hell of a lot of romantic movies (even the shitty ones, the lifetime ones, the impossible plots and the most fictional sounding men) and I listen to a hell of a lot of love songs.

Sometimes when you can’t feel butterflies you might imaginarily manufacture them, like with the help of Childish Gambino singing covers.