I was out on Saturday night, still drunk and coming down from my musical high when a friend of a friend of a friend decided it was an appropriate time to address the fact that the 3 beautiful woman in his presence (myself included) were all past 30 and “too picky.” I’ve never met this man in my life, yet he thought it was ok to evaluate me and my search for a significant other. He then continued to add insult to injury by telling us our time was ticking and we only had a few years left in us and we needed to hurry it up. No exaggeration. There was no humor in his delivery, there was zero sensitivity being served along with the bullshit escaping his dumbass mouth. He reeked of machismo and misogyny, fortunately something I’m not normally accustomed to. The longer the conversation went the deeper his foot went into his mouth, a downward spiral of insults and back-handed compliments.
Normally I don’t associate myself with individuals who have such a general lack of respect for women, but with that many degrees of separation he somehow slipped through the cracks. As far as I’m concerned I will never be seen with this man at the same place or time ever again, and I thank God that meetings with men like him are infrequent for me. However his questions are derived from societal norms and his assumptions are fairly conventional—he only said what many others are afraid to ask.
You don’t need to ask why I’m single.
You don’t need to know the reasons why I’m single.
You don’t need to figure it out.
Period.
I am not psycho, a bitch, high-maintenance, or any other stereotypical reason we throw at women who are not in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with me—yet everyone wants to figure out why I don’t have a man.
She’s not in a relationship… must be something wrong with that one. Why is it taking her so long?
If I was a man I could be 43 and no one would be curious about my lack of settling down. There would be no cause for contention. Zero. I could be focusing on my career, waiting for the right woman, or hey… maybe a wife or kids just aren’t for me. No further questions asked.
I am surrounded by gorgeous, amazing, driven women who are past 30, single and just trying to live. We don’t need your pity or your false presumptions on why we are without partners. Maybe we’re fucking hustling, maybe we’re holding out for fireworks, or maybe we really just are 100% all good by ourselves. Whatever the justifications may be—it's our business, not yours.
*DROPS MIC*