I have absolutely no desire to climb Half Dome. The cables look scary as fuck and I’m low-key scared of heights. I don’t really have an adventure bone in my body. I don’t understand why anyone would want to go camping in the snow, below freezing temperatures and struggle to carry all their gear the entire time. I’m not at all interested in exploring the vast unknown or curious about venturing where man has not yet traveled.
Nah, fuck that. I’m good. I'm a city girl who prefers to rely on public transportation and modern conveniences.
There are a few exceptions to the rule and I have already conquered one. Havasupai Falls is the shit, guys—you should go, and the Kalaulau Trail in Kauai will forever be on my bucket list. Who wants to come with me and hike 22 miles in my most favorite place on Earth? Anyone? Anyone???
I would rather watch sports than play them, dance to a good song than learn a musical instrument and stare at beautiful vistas from a comfortable location, preferably with a drink in my hand. I don’t really have any hobbies except for “writing” (yeah, I think the quotation marks are appropriate), and I don’t have any plans on picking up any new skills unless they are relevant to my career. I enjoy using my free time by doing absolutely nothing.
From a conversational standpoint I think I sound basic as hell.
I hate the question: What do you like to do for fun?
I like to binge watch whatever show is incredibly hyped up at the moment, I spend hours laughing at memes in the dark while I’m high and trying to pass out for the evening, and I search for new music every chance I get.
Nothing impressive on paper, right?
Yeah, my interests aren’t anything spectacular. That’s ok with me, I’ll just rely on my personality instead.
It’s incredibly frustrating dating complete strangers. The small talk involved is taxing and the analogy of trying to find a needle in a haystack is just a small preview of what I have to endure. I might not be the most athletic, adventurous or skilled at any particular craft but I still have plenty of other interests.
I can call a double play in baseball while the ball is still in motion. I can also tell you from the sound of the crack of the bat alone if the hitter just made a home run. I can recite verses, upon verses, upon verses, of various hip hop songs on a dance floor, all while breaking only a minor sweat but yelling at the top of my lungs. I can cook up a whole feast with minimal instructions and time it so that every dish is ready all around the same time. I spit out jokes out at optimal moments without even realizing I’m doing it.
Whatever it is that makes me impressive is hard to quantify. It wouldn't do me any justice trying to come up with it in the form of a list. I don't necessarily want to spend hours on a hobby or sport, however if you want to have a lengthy and almost never-ending debate on how you rate all of Kanye West’s albums—I’m your girl.
P.S. If "Late Registration" is not in your top 3, stop talking to me. Now.