6. Can I live?
I’ve been on a string of lackluster dates recently.
Everyone wants to play devil’s advocate when it comes to my dating life.
When I sound bored with the men trying to come at me you say I didn’t give them enough of a chance. When you hear me sounding indifferent yet still proceeding to be in touch you ask me why.
WHICH IS IT?!?
I complained to Law that these men deliver such generic questions, one after another. No witty or clever twist, just extremely basic interview type questions that make me want to pull the plug on the conversation entirely. Why is that so frustrating for me? Because. I am romantically allergic to squarish-nice-guys. I have a difficult time finding them stimulating or interesting.
Law is glaringly aware of this and decided it was an opportune moment to lecture me again: “KATE… I’m trying to get you to realize that the next man in your life might not be witty or clever but he will probably adore you, kiss the ground you walk on, blah blah blah…”
Yeah yeah, dude. He’s never gonna get discovered if he can’t hang conversationally, he won’t make it past the first cut.
I’ve prepped myself to compromise, I swear. I’m not looking for a unicorn these days, I promise. I’ve thrown a ton of deal-breakers out the window. However I ask for a lot of personality, I’m accustomed to a lot of personality. I'M A LOT OF PERSONALITY. I’m asking for compatibility which hopefully leads to passion, because I want fire.
I won’t settle for less than fire. It doesn’t have to be blazing 24/7, but enough to keep us warm at night.
I recently had a heart-to-heart with someone who told me that her marriage was lacking passion. 6 years in and she’s wondering if this is just going to be “it” for the rest of her life. We’re the same age, 33. Sure, he’s a great guy. He’s a breadwinner, caring and loving, but he doesn’t join her on the dance floor when her favorite song comes on. He doesn't join her on the dance floor—at all. He doesn’t care to test her on her Spanish, which she has been trying to learn for the past year, just for her own personal accomplishments. He doesn’t take her in the heat of the moment and lead her to the bedroom to fuck her into oblivion.
Personally I would rather refrain from entering a safe and secure commitment if it means I am lacking other aspects I value so much. I’d rather continue the search and keep myself open for the man that gives me butterflies, makes my heart soar and my vagina sore.
See what I did there? ;-)