I’ve had a rough couple of days.

I was waiting for texts that never came and getting “he’s just not that into you” advice from a few of my tightest boys. Not to mention I’ve been having numerous conversations about relationships with two ultra-realisitic-dont-wanna-be-in-a-relationship-right-now perspectives.

Everyone has just about killed all of my hopes and dreams, and real talk—I have low expectations to begin with.

I can’t sleep. I don’t wanna socialize. I want to eat all of my feelings, but I won’t—I have to be half-naked in 100 degree+ Las Vegas weather next week.

I have Lorezapam on deck, that I somehow copped by mentioning to various people that I am highly interested in trying anxiety meds. Part of me knows I’ll never take them. My strong-headed ass enjoys knowing I have them within reach but that I lack any real intention to pop one. I've had them for months, if I was going to take one I would've already...

I’ve felt a thousand times worse than I do now, and I dealt with it by riding out the waves.

This is just a small bump in the road, it comes with the territory. I’m being lightweight dramatic mainly because my ego is heavily bruised. Nah, let’s be real… I enjoyed entertaining the idea of a prospect. I really did.

I wish I wasn’t so process-oriented and formulaic. I’m always trying to figure out how to get from point A to B, because that’s how I deal with my career / life / goals. Going from lonely and single to in a relationship is not clear cut at all.

In conclusion, because I am all over the place with this post…

Fuck a process… I need to just keep living my life, cause it’s amazing. BAE / Unicorn / The Impossible Man can find me when he’s ready.

I’ll be the girl dancing by herself, giving zero fucks.