I realize it’s difficult enough being a single man, growing the balls to approach a woman, trying to impress her, attempting to keep a conversation going, blah blah blah… etc etc etc. But gentlemen, please do your best.

I gave my number to this dude with absolutely no intention of being in touch with him. As I have previously stated, this happens frequently. I don’t know how to turn them down when they seem like nice guys, and I don’t want to pull out the lie: “Sorry, I have a boyfriend.”

It’s a little misleading, by receiving my phone number you’ve just passed my first line of defense. You might think you have a chance when in reality I’ve already decided to never text you back.

I’m sorry. Slightly.

You should still follow protocol. There’s a possibility I could change my mind. What’s protocol?

Text me the following morning or afternoon… don’t wait a few days.
Remind me of your name and where we met.
Mention a funny detail from our conversation. I promise you, even if I’m not that into you if I gave you my number—we must have had somewhat of an engaging conversation.
PULL… Pull whatever it is the fuck you think I’d like. The song I was spitting out lyrics to, the drink in my hand, ANYTHING… This is your chance to impress me. Do. Your. Best.

Not this, cause it's weaaaaak. So weak I texted it to a friend.