I’m always trying to note that spark that turns relationships into something significant, as little or big as they are. I’m not even speaking romantically, I’m just speaking in general terms.
I guess I’ll call it a “cross-over.”
Ultimately we all decide who makes the switch from co-worker or acquaintance to friend, from fuck-buddy to Feelz destroyer or whatever else is relevant to you at the moment.
I can recall the exact point where Melissa became my genuine homegirl. It was our second day on vacation in the Dominican Republic. I joined in on a girls trip despite only knowing Iris, our mutual friend who was the master planner. I had just moved to NY and had a serious “down for whatever” attitude. Melissa and I only met once before, at an Easter brunch a few weeks prior and even then we had only briefly chatted. On that second day of vacation I found myself on the beach sharing my entire life story, divorce and all. Fact: I never openly discuss my history in person, especially to anyone new. I refuse to give people my past as an initial first impression. But there we were, lounging in the sun, getting tan as fuck and spilling our entire romantic pasts to one another. My intuition told me it was ok to open up to her. It turns out we had a lot in common and clicked immediately. I don’t know many women who can finish lyrics when I recite them out loud, she can. Next thing you know I’d make the trek from NY to Philly in snow storms just to visit her and she'd take bus rides out to Brooklyn on random weekends. Since then we must’ve been on 3 or 4 trips together. Now here we are, on the coast where we belong, trying to navigate life in our early 30’s in SF as smoothy as possible.
Law was my accounts director back East at our previous place of employment. For the last six months of being coworkers he sat across from me and we distracted each other 30% of the entire time discussing random bullshit. Imagine two kids in the same group in school causing a ruckus and getting all the other kids hyped and off-track, that was us. His NY send-off for me was a visit to a strip club in the Bronx in which he would pay for a lap dance. The week leading up to the visit he would lecture me to not to be shy in front of the strippers. Fool, I got this. I just went to KOD, twice. Shit. When we got to the strip club the exotic dancer of my choice reversed roles and forced me give her a lap dance instead. Bitch, that’s your job, but ok… Law said he didn’t know who to throw money on, me or the stripper. Obviously I didn’t get the money, despite being freshly unemployed, but that was the true spark to our friendship. Anyone else can only be so lucky to have such a story. Now I get offended when he goes on trips and doesn’t warn me about his exact departure dates. You couldn’t fuckin’ text me while you were in line at security at the airport?!? I got lightweight salty about that and he made up for it by calling me twice while he was international. I realize that sounds like “boo shit,” personally I just want to know if you’re unavailable to receive my barrage of random texts. All I’m asking for is a heads up, you know… friend to friend. Today I woke up to a text of a screen capture of typed list entitled: “Reasons why I fucks with Kate.” Why’d you write this? How many people did you write lists about? It was a pretty legit list if I do say so myself. I still don’t know how or why it came about but I thanked him.
Adulthood is a hell of a trip, these sparks are rare, take note.