I want a complex secret handshake that confirms when we make bets. It means shit just got real, no backing out.

I want a series of odd questions that must be answered correctly in order to assure me that you are neither a clone, alien or robot. Just in case I believe you’ve been swapped out.

I want to go to the Maldives and stay in one of those individual huts on the water and have sex during the entire duration of the trip. It will no doubt be one of the most expensive trips ever, even if its just for an amazing background for sex.

I want to fall in love on a Tuesday. Someone once gave me solid rationale for why Tuesday is the shittiest day of the week. I agree, I want to reverse that outlook. So, I want to fall in love on a Tuesday. Gambino has a good line for this.

I want Doughbies delivered to my office. Some bitches like flowers (yeah I still like flowers), however—I want cookies delivered straight to my desk. *AHEM* Send both.

I want photos with every MLB mascot that I can catch. I don’t care if you don’t like baseball, you need to take the photos for my collection.

I want to experience sex on different drugs. Wait what? JK. Who said that?

I want kids, maybe two but at least one, that mainly look like me and only kinda like you. Unless you’re hella good looking or something and then we can go 50/50.

TBC. I have more demands than this.