I Tried

Everyone says I’m too picky.

I won’t argue, I agree.

So I tried to prove a lot of you wrong this time around. I tried to tell myself I wasn’t so shallow. I gave the dude with a lack of style a chance, a guy with a cute face but one I would never pick out of a crowd. On our second date he asked: “Why’d you decide to go on a date with me?” I was honest with my response: “You’re not usually my type, but you’re probably a dude a should date.” He laughed and disagreed with me, trying to play off some bad boy past. I wasn’t convinced tho, square on the outside, square on the inside. BTW, he was in dire need of a haircut at the time. YUCK. Can I get points for getting over that and still continuing to see him?

I should’ve known we didn’t have much of a future when I was extremely lazy to get ready on the nights we had dates. I questioned just how little effort I could get away with. I wasn’t about to put on vampy lipstick and a pair of heels when homeboy wouldn’t even pay me a compliment. He was WEAK with the compliments. I also didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb next to this dude who thinks a polo shirt and a Members Only jacket is a sufficient outfit for a date on a Friday night with a woman he hasn’t had sex with yet.

After a particular date I texted a couple of my girls: “YO. I DON’T THINK THIS DUDE OWNS A FITTED CAP OR A FLANNEL SHIRT AND THAT FUCKING BOTHERS ME.”

Trust me, I realize how I sound. But I told you… I tried. I fucking tried.

So why’d I lead homeboy on for so long when I was obviously not as interested as he was? I was waiting for a spark or some chemistry that never came. I considered all the good things: he was fairly easy to talk to, we had no trouble agreeing on restaurants or entree choices to share and he had great taste in music. He was easy to spend time with but in the end I couldn’t find enough kindling to start a fire.

He wasn’t on my level and I knew it from the jump.

So can we please avoid all the unnecessary commentary in the future about how my standards are sky high, how I am impossible, how I’m too picky?

I know what I’m doing and I’m not the least bit disappointed that this dude bit the dust.

Let me be excited for the dude with the asshole sense of humor, who calls me out on my bullshit, compliments me after I take 1.5 hours to get ready, with an excellent haircut and wardrobe to match (don't forget provides amazing D).

And if you meet the version of me as a dude, please give him my phone number.