So it's not what you think.
I got lost on the D train. Here's Kate anecdote no. 3,721.
I drank for 4 straight hours on my birthday. It started out with a bottomless mimosa brunch followed by one of our favorite day parties in the LES. I could've avoided the last hour of drinking but we made friends with the group next to us (also celebrating a birthday) and their boy wouldn't stop refilling our glasses.
By the time the party ended at 6 I was donzo and ready to go home. For the record this was my original plan (day drink and chill at home for the rest of the evening). I still had festivities arranged for the next day.
I split up from my company and took a side detour to buy shrimp wonton noodle soup cause somehow I remembered that I needed to consume long noodles (for that long life) on my birthday. I paid and waited for my food and proceeded to wait for a train at the Grand Street station. I was in luck and one came along in no time.
My drunk ass wasn't paying attention and I hopped on. It was the D train, I needed the B. After a few familiar stops I closed my eyes for one second. One second and I already knew I was lost.
"Fuck. Why am I at an outdoor stop?!? This isn't right."
Phone rings, it's Ex-Mr calling.
"Happy birthday!!!"
"Yoooooooooo. I'm super drunk right now AND I'm lost. I'm lost!"
*He laughs hard.* "Where the hell are you?!"
"I don't know. This is wrong, I'm at a 9th street stop and I'm outdoors."
"Call Uber. Call Lyft. Get a taxi."
"I cannnnnnnt. My Uber account is messed up cause I keep trying to change the credit card on the account."
*He's still laughing* "Wtf Kate, check where you are. Check Google Maps."
"That's a fantastic idea."
*checks google maps* "Ok ok. I know where I am. But I'm not walking distance from home cause I'd have to cross the huge cemetery AND Prospect Park. I have to go back to Barclays and transfer, that's what my ass was supposed to do in the first place."
I got home just fine and with daylight still out, albeit drunk as shit. Later Adam caught me passed the hell out on the couch at 9pm asking me if that was how I was spending my birthday.
I told him I was still drunk and that was exactly where I was supposed to be at that exact moment.
Cheers to 31. Don’t take the D (train).