My mind is an absolute cluster fuck these days.

I don’t know if giving myself a NY end date was premature or if I’m actually meant to move home sooner than I anticipated. I’ve racked my brain through both scenarios, over and over. I still think my current plan is the right one, but there are a dozen factors/questions I am always considering.

I'm conflicted between staying at my job or searching for a new gig. It’s getting increasingly stressful and demanding, and almost everyone I have grown close to has left the company. But for every reason to leave there is a legit reason to stay, they’re offering me better projects and opportunities to grow as an Art Director. Some days I don’t think about leaving, other days I want to flip over tables out of frustration.

I'm always on the fence on whether or not I should continue my attempts at dating or quit “actively trying” altogether. I disabled my OKC account and I went on a dating hiatus for two months. I woke up one day and felt refreshed so I downloaded Tinder. This is all very recent, I haven’t gone on a date yet, but I am open to accepting one again. I also can’t tell if I need to stick to my ridiculously high standards or if I need to say “fuck it, you’re good, for now.” Yes, its debatable if Tinder is even considered dating.

I discussed all of this with the man who turned my world upside down, cause regardless of whether or not anyone agrees to my friendship with him—homeboy is still one of my good friends and knows me better than anyone. Ex-Mr ended up giving me the best advice ever:

“Trust you.”

MTHRFCKR, I swear… I absolutely HATE it when he's right, and he was on-point. He elaborated with the statement: “It’s gotten you this far, and you’re doing amazing. You’re in fucking New York. You’re doing you and you’re doing it well. Just… trust you.”

That’s all I needed to hear.