Today I told Olivia something I rarely admit out loud: "You know what… After everything I've been through, I feel entitled. I feel entitled to an amazing reward. I know its wrong to think that I'm owed anything because there are no guarantees in life. But Olivia… I really fucking deserve something good."

Ohh and if you need clarification by "reward" and "something" I really mean "someone."

What I Want (for now)
I'm simple. I want to experience what dating is, I don't think I've legitimately dated anyone. I want a little consistency. I want to get past a third date. I want "Good morning / Good night / I miss you" texts. I want someone who wants to spend an entire Saturday with me, instead of just a Friday night. I want butterflies. I want to wake up in the morning with deserving company.

What I Get
I get dumb fucks sending me initial messages explaining that they're interested in me but would like to formally state that they smoke a lot of weed. Yeah, that's an initial message. I get dudes trying to figure out how to get me into bed rather than figuring out where to take me on a second date. I get guys with dick pics trying to holler. I get guys offering to send me dick pics. I get "what are you up to" texts after three months of no communication. I get nothing of value, nothing worth pursuing and when I finally find one interesting... I still hit a dead end.

What I Deserve
The fucking world.

It doesn't matter if you can actually give it or not (this is a ridiculous request and I know it), I just want someone willing to try.