Sodium Intake

When it comes to the opposite sex, I always take their words with a grain of salt.

I put salt on errrythang. 

Hi, my name is Kate, and I am jaded as fuck.

So when he says "I'll text you." I put a pinch of salt on that.
When he says "I'll see you soon." I use the shaker over that about half a dozen times.
When he discusses any possible future date and/or meeting time I go ahead and open up the Morton canister and pour it freely over his words.

My sodium intake is through the roof these days, but you know what? I'd rather eat words with salt than with substitute sweetner.

I never liked that fake sugar shit anyway.