I like to think I have dude-logic. Hah, key phrase "like to think..." It stops my head from spinning into stupid tangents and illogical scenarios in which women have a tendency to fabricate in their heads. In short, it stops me from being lady-crazy. Yes—I am generalizing on behalf of my entire female population. Sorry not sorry.
My vagina and heart are currently in an on-going argument with my brain.
Last week I unexpectedly met a guy I found interesting. I already told all of you, I have a hard time accomplishing this.
I was doing just fine. I was going about my business and not giving a single care about men in general. Then this mthrfckr comes around makes me lose my focus.
Now I cannot seem to get this dude out of my head.
My head is pretty much on-point. Logically it tells me if anyone is ever interested in me—they will make a move, especially if they have my number. I completely agree with its viewpoints on how if this guy never texts me again it will be his loss. If this guy doesn't realize how awesome I am, it is his missed opportunity. If I never see him again, well then… it wasn't meant to be in any way, shape or form. Ok. I accept that.
But the parts that make me a woman… my vagina and my heart. THEY ARE GOING BATSHIT CRAZY RIGHT NOW. Batshit crazy.
I. HATE. IT.
I cannot. Make it stop.
I don't want to think about him. I don't want to stare at my phone to see if I got a text. I don't want to daydream about the possibilities… I don't want any of that.
Ok, ok. I do. I fucking do.
I am annoyed at myself from how I went from being completely indifferent to the concept of a non-platonic male interest, to blatantly asking this guy "so are you gonna text me?"
UGH. *Two fingers to the dome in a shoot-myself-fashion*
WTF. I neverrrrrrrrrrr do that. I'm never that girl. My pride will eat me alive before I show that much interest too fast too soon. I require obvious amounts of attention and direct approaches from the opposite sex before I even try. I completely understand the concept of the "modern woman" and "I can text him first" but I am so old-fashioned in this sense and I have the pride of a lion. I don't work that way. Also—I'm just blind to it, I'm oblivious to guys being interested in me. I never assume and most of the time my mind shoots all of these so-called "advances" down.
So what now huh?
So far the battle is two vs. one. My vagina + heart are kicking my brain's ass. I need this war to be over soon.
Lady parts—PLEASE GIVE UP! I can't take it much longer... Gahhh.