This past weekend I found myself humming. I hum subconsciously. Most of the time its a tune I make up randomly in my head. I hum as if I am a five-year-old-child coloring contently, no exaggeration. Usually I am doing menial tasks, like folding laundry or cooking. I don't remember the last time I hummed. Its been a long time.

Next thing you know…

I'M. FUCKING. CRYING.

I only hummed in front of ex-Mr, whenever I forgot he was around, when I'm lost in my own world. He would never fail to mention it, "ohh, that's a nice song."

Then for a split second, I always got a little embarrassed—at the fact another human being was seeing me in a raw and exposed state. I always thought: "shit, he just caught me." Most of the time, he truly meant whatever compliment he paid me. He always appreciated seeing me child-like and I was always some form of entertainment, even when I didn't realize it.

I started crying cause for one thing… I'm PMSing like a mother fucker, and second—because who knows when I'll feel that comfortable around someone ever again. WHO KNOOWWSSS?

It hit me hard, so I was waterworks for a good 10 minutes, and to be completely honest I'm not big on crying—only when the damn breaks, literally.

So fuck you, PMS, and fuck you, self-realizations—you are a bitch.