I have been internally struggling all fucking day to stop myself from crying. It was brought on by the most random instance, a social media acquaintance did something amazing for his wife, and I was reminded of a different life.

See, this is where I differ from other single ladies. Key point: I was married. I knew exactly what it meant to share my life. I had already found great love. I said "good night" and "good morning" to the same man, day after day. I walked through part of my life with a partner, it was comforting and secure. And then I left all of it, because for my own sake/sanity I had to.

I have been complaining about my single life recently. The weather is getting shitty, the holidays are coming and I've officially been single for a year. I'm fully aware that its been an amazing period of exponential growth and character building. I'm thankful for the time to heal and figure out who I am individually, but damn—this is enough. I've moved on… I want more out of life than the things I can only provide for myself, and I have always enjoyed being that counterpart for someone else.

As I've previously mentioned, I just want to be kissed on the cheek and go out to dinner and discuss my day. I want to have a meaningful conversation with a man that wants to learn about me without any ulterior motives (because getting me into bed seems to be the fairly common one). I want to figure out what makes someone else tick, which producer he would enlist to create his superhero theme song, what's his favorite album of all time is or which fictional character he resonates with the most, and after a few more conversations and dates... How he likes his eggs cooked for breakfast. *Winking face here*

Sigh. I'm just trying to find greater love out there, but its lonely as fuck in the process. *tiny violins play again*